Ten ways to ease your child's anxiety.

TEN ways to ease your child’s anxiety

The reality of our life is that children thrive on a predictable routine and when that is disrupted without notice it can cause some anxiety, or if a child already has an anxious nature it can increase tenfold.  Here are some tips to help your child deal with anxiety during a time of uncertainty for all of us.

1.      Journal: Hear me out, you can have them document each day as it happens with pen and paper or use prompts such as, “pretend you are describing in detail the happenings around you so that your children and grandchildren will be able to feel what you are feeling” This is a way to get them to put thoughts and feelings on paper without saying, “put your thoughts and feelings on paper.”  If the idea of putting pen to paper makes them cringe have them do a daily vlog of the current lifestyle and situation.   Same idea as above but it has them doing this using other media besides the usual means.   This form of expression will help them process their anxiety fully by putting it into words.

2.      Exercise:  We all know kids need recess but without buddies and monkey bars it feels less appealing. Take a hike around your house, search for the strangest kind of rock or have everyone spread out and bring back to the table the most unusual item they found outside. Sunshine and fresh air are good for everyone.  I know… rain, but listen, we all take showers and bathe daily, and you might as well get wet outside. Dance in it, jump in puddles with them, let them get really muddy and then hose them off.  If you are forced indoors, YouTube has amazing yoga and kid workout videos.  They will want you to participate so jump in.  It will help your mood too!

3.      Take virtual field trips. Changing your scenery does not have to mean getting on a plane or in a car.  Disney, sea world, zoos, have all posted virtual visits on YouTube.  So everyone gather around the computer and take a short break from reality: Go on an

African safari, a ride on splash mountain or swim with dolphins.

4.      Limit the junk: as hard as it is, an open pantry means everything is fair game. Kids are terrible about knowing their limits as far as junk food.  Regulate snacks and drinks. This does not mean be a Nazi about it, but studies show sugar and caffeine increase anxiety significantly.   Offer up some fruit, flavored water or if your kids are old enough, have everyone in charge of a meal during the week. This gives them ownership and is a good distraction from the ordinary.

5.      Have a schedule, even if you don’t keep it 100% of the time this helps your kiddo know that there are still rules, structure, and safety.   They will pretend that they don’t want this, but the reality is, they do!  Think of it like this, the safety harness on a rollercoaster, you always push against it to make sure it works.  You want it to work but you push anyway just to check. They will push for later bedtimes, more snacks, eating in front of the TV but in reality, they need for things to remain as normal as possible.

6.      Find time every day for a creative outlet.  For some kids this is drawing, painting or crafts. Other children may want to dance and make tik tok videos. Encourage a creative outlet. If your kiddo has not found their niche, explore some options via the internet; you can learn how to knit, sew, cartoon or even make doll dresses out of garbage (trust me this is a thing) all online.

7.      LISTEN more than you talk. It is frightening to see your child wrestle with anxiety and you will be tempted to over talk, DON’T!  Open the door and let them know you are here for them always and you are willing to listen but do NOT push.    Your hovering can create more anxiety- they will think, “Wow mom is really worried I guess I should be really worried too”   Give them space to open up when they are ready.

8.      Practice ways to calm their mind and spirit. The CALM app is a great way to end the day. It has bedtime stories and music to help them ease into sleep when they are restless.   Youtube also has a channel called sleepytime stories.   These and others teach kids how to breathe through anxiety which is a huge piece of the puzzle.

9.      Stay connected. Encourage them to write letters to friends or family, FaceTime grandparents , etc. Talking to other people in their circle going through the same thing helps normalize their feelings and lets them know we are all in this together.

10.   Lead by example: Last, but certainly not least, worship together, dive into a family bible study or read the morning’s verse around the breakfast table.   Seeing YOU place your trust where it belongs can go a long way into helping them do the same.

He loved me first

He never asked if I wanted to accompany him to the hardware store, gas station or his office, it was simply understood that where he went, I went too.  If you sit with my dad for long you will likely hear my name and brief biography of how ‘wonderful’ I am.  He will give you a ‘no -apologies’ boast of his ‘little girl’ and the woman I’ve become.  What he neglects to mention, is that I wouldn’t be who I am without him.

When I became a mom, I realized the true greatness of my parents.  My dad never fails to have a cliche or anecdote for any occasion. Growing up I remember, “if you are going to do something, do it right, or not at all”. He was present. As little girls my sister and I raised, rabbits and turtles, picked peaches, cleaned the garage, and washed the cars, but there was no shortage of fun. Dad let us put make-up on him, curl his hair and threw us in the air just high enough to make our stomach drop.  Dad will tell you he feels guilty that he wasn’t able to give us ‘everything’ growing up, I disagree.

Dad carried me on his shoulders and raced me around the grocery store in a cart long after I was too old.  He taught me how to change a tire and check my oil.  He never let me believe that there were boundaries to the things I could accomplish because I was a girl. He wasn’t a spectator of my childhood he was an active participant, shooting hoops and playing catch until it was too dark to see. He never told me it was too hot outside or that he was too tired.    Some of my favorite memories are of our dark drives to practice before the sun came up.  We shared coffee, breakfast and life.  I have always been grateful for his grace and mercy which was more than I deserved.   Maybe it is because we are so similar, but he always knows the words I need or when silent presence is enough.    Happy birthday to the man that loved me first.